interesting thought to chew on

I’m only posting this now so I remember to come back to it later.

 

I’m working on a theory, postulating, if you will, about attention whore-ishness and how it relates to how many pictures you have of yourself relative to friends you have on facebook.

Check back later folks.

“Don’t forget who you work for”

At 9am this morning, I pull up to one of my stops, Butch’s Italian Cafe in Canal Winchester. I’m semi-pissed because I’m one half hour behind schedule, and you know how that can affect your mood. Anyway, As I’m pulling around the building, I noticed that the dining area is swarmed with young urban hipster-types. “Wtf is this,” I mumble to myself, “some butt-pride convention?”

Anyway, I go around the building and load my cart up. As I’m walking towards the building an employee comes out the back door and makes eye contact with me.  She then proceeds to let the door lock behind her. I’m 100% certain she heard me when I said “twat” as she was walking away, I could see the pause in her step. I beat on the door and the crazy lady who works there opens it up. How do I know she is crazy you ask? Last week, when I was changing the mats, I heard her in the kitchen talking to someone. When I went back there, it was just her by herself. “Talking to yourself Sam?”, I ask. “Oh you know me. Yes.”, came the reply. I didn’t think anything of it and as I go out the door, I hear her whisper in a very sinister voice, “Because I’m crazy.”

I digress. She opens the door and as I’m going in, I ask what’s going on. “Some fundraiser for John McCain,” “Interesting indeed,” I think as I develop a plan of attack. Not attacking the McCain supporters per se, but a plan of attack for getting my shit done and getting the fuck out of there. As I’m restocking her supplies I am semi-listening as crazy-lady tells me how she is voting “undecided”, and that if enough people vote “undecided” the parties will have no other choice but to put up two different, perhaps more electable candidates. “I don’t think it works that way Sam,” I tell her. “Are you sure? If ‘undecided’ wins, they have to have a new election” “Ok Sam”, I start making my way towards the dining area, hoping to not get swept up in the moment and end up professing my love for John McCain.

As I round the corner I see the owner of the establishment, Big Butch himself. “What’s going on Butch?” “Oh, some political thing. I got the Lt. Gov. of Texas stopping in here in about 10 minutes.” As he is saying this I’m looking at the crowd that has amassed in my work area. “These fucks are fucking up my shit,” I’m thinking to myself. “Wait, is that an Obama sticker I see?” As I look around, everyone is wearing something with “Obama” on it. Stickers, buttons, hats, shirts, you name it. “Butch, who did you say is coming in to talk?” “Oh, just the Lt. Gov. of Texas, Chim Richalds or something.” “Why would Chim Richalds endorse Obama?” Butch mumbles something about not knowing, but he’ll be glad when it’s over.

I make my way into the throng. I see the waitress I called a twat. She definitely sees me. She doesn’t look too happy either. Playing it off, I change the subject before she even gets a chance to bring it up, “Nice button, (Obama ‘08) who’s coming in today?”, I ask her. “Bill Richardson, the governor of New Mexico.” “Awesome”, I say as I disappear back into the crowd before she can call me out for being an asshole. Things are finally starting to make sense, Richardson is coming in to talk to the Obama faithful. I make light work of the mats and start making my way towards the back of the restaurant. Crazy lady is there yelling at some fat mexican delivery guy about being over-charged for romaine lettuce. “Did you figure out what’s going on out there,” she asks. “Yea, Bill Richardson, governor of New Mexico is having a town-hall style meeting.” She smiles and turns to the mexican, “Ce’sar, you want to stay and watch? He’s from Mexico, too.” Ce’sar mumbles something to the effect of “loco punta” and disappears through the back door. I tell her that New Mexico and Mexico are two different places. She doesn’t believe me. After trying to convince her of this, I decide it’s a lost cause and collect my check and leave. As I pass through the door, I’m standing face to face with Bill Richardson, the mexican governor (lol). Realizing this is kind of a big deal, I don’t want to fuck it up. I stand up straight and take my gloves off. I make eye contact with his entourage/(security?) to let them know I mean no harm. I extend my hand, “Governor, it’s a pleasure.” “Why thank you son. The pleasure is all mine.” I smile and nod and begin to walk away. As I’m doing so, I call back over my shoulder and say, “Don’t forget who you work for.” I’m 100% certain he heard me, I could see the pause in his step.